When the world goes to sleep, that’s when the demons in my head wake up. They whisper, they scratch at memories I’ve been trying to bury. I didn’t want to relive the days that were never meant to happen, so I stopped writing for a while. I thought silence would protect me.
But today, I realise that the more I run, the more it chases me. Grief, betrayal, loneliness — they always find a way to stand right in front of me, demanding to be faced.
My divorce is done. I am now, officially, a single mother. And yet, life hasn’t paused for me to catch my breath. It hasn’t given me a break, a moment of kindness. It keeps throwing curveballs, one after another, like it wants to test how much I can endure before I break.
All this time, I survived because I had faith in God. I believed He was walking beside me through the darkness, carrying me when I felt too weak. But today, it feels like even He betrayed me. He left me alone — just like everyone else has.
My savings are gone. My money is gone. Even the money my sister trusted me with — gone. A fraud stripped me bare of the little security I had built. And now I sit here, with nothing in my hands but my son, my courage hanging by a thread, and a hollow ache where faith used to be.
The pressure of being a good single parent feels crushing. To provide the best, to protect my son from every scar, to make sure no one can point out my failures — it’s a weight I carry alone. But how do I do all this now? If God can leave me, if humans have already left me, then what do I have exactly?
Maybe just this pen. Maybe just these words. Maybe just the strength to keep breathing into tomorrow, for the sake of my little boy who deserves a world better than this one.
And maybe — just maybe — that’s still enough.
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